Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
