youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
