No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
