His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
