how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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