And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
