Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
