saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
