Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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