Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
