Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
this will be a night to untag.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
