I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
