He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize