i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
