then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
