I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she pinky promised me she was 18
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
