Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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