I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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