Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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