Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
