Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
