Say something about gay babies.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
