I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
