I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
