How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
