but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
