Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
