so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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