Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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