we have officially lost it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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