Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
