not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
