So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
