First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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