The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
