i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
