So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
