i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
