I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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