You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
