Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
