how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
