Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
