smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just invented taco cereal.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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