I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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