Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
