Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How does one acquire holy water?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
