What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize