these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
