I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
