Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
