I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
