dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
