my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
