you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
