nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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